Phil and Claire go overboard with drinks, and divulging personal information, on a night out to celebrate the sale of a house to Mitchell and Cameron’s friends.
25 minS1:E1
Pilot
Jay has just recently married his younger, Colombian wife, Gloria, but he's having trouble keeping up with her and her son Manny. Claire is having trouble with her own family, especially with her husband Phil, who thinks he can be hip with his three kids. Also, Mitchell and his partner Cameron adopt a Vietnamese baby, Lily.
Phil is determined to help Luke prove to mom that he is responsible enough to have the brand new bike they just got him. However Phil ends up being the irresponsible one when a hot neighbor clouds his judgment. Meanwhile Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to their first Mommy & Me class, and Jay and Manny have some awkward father and son time.
Phil pushes Jay to go out with him and fly his new model plane. While Manny takes time out to play with Luke, Gloria accompanies Alex in shopping for a dress. Later on, Manny ends up having a heart-to-heart talk with his sister Claire.
Claire and Mitchell's mother, Dede, drops in for a surprise visit and is determined to make amends with everyone she offended during what has been deemed "the incident" at Jay and Gloria's wedding. Needless to say, no one is thrilled to see her and everything comes to a head when the whole family shows up to dinner at Claire's house.
The whole family is invited to Jay and Gloria's for some barbeque and football. However an earlier incident at school between Manny and Luke makes things very awkward for Gloria and Claire, and then things escalate when a not-so-flattering label is uttered.
It's the first day back at school for the kids and, at the Dunphy house, Phil oversteps when he misreads how Claire is coping with an empty nest. Over at Jay's, he and Gloria are in disagreement over Manny's interesting choice of outfit for his first day of class, and Mitchell and Cameron freak out after Lily gets her first bump on the head.
The whole family comes out to support Manny's newfound interest - fencing. It turns out he's quite masterful in the sport, but Jay's proud enthusiasm triggers an old childhood wound for Mitchell. Meanwhile Phil is determined to find where Luke's hidden talents lie.
With a history of giving bad gifts, Claire is determined to surprise Phil with an amazing anniversary present: a private performance by one of their favorite musicians, Izzy LaFontaine. However, it turns out to be unexpected in more ways than one. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron call up their "party-girl bestie", Sal, for a long overdue night out on the town.
Nothing is too big when Phil and Claire decide to throw Luke the biggest and best birthday party a boy could ever want, but when Cameron shows up as Fizbo the Clown, it sets off a chain of events that ends with someone in the hospital.
Christmas is in full swing at the Dunphy house until the kids get in some trouble and Phil and Claire threaten to take away Christmas until one of them fesses up. Meanwhile, Jay struggles with wanting to stick to his holiday traditions while Gloria and Manny want to incorporate some of their Colombian practices, and Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to the mall for her first picture with Santa -- but end up with a disgruntled mall Santa on their hands.
Gloria is less than pleased with Jay's reaction to the arrival of Javier, Manny's infamously unreliable dad. Meanwhile, Phil is suffering from kidney stones and his dramatics leave Claire no other choice but to call for the hot firemen to rush him to the hospital, and Mitchell and Cameron have a harder time than Lily as they attempt to sleep train her.
When Claire finds a dirty picture on the computer and assumes it's Luke's doing, a guilty Phil doesn't necessarily correct her. Jay and Gloria disagree over his beloved life-sized dog butler statue, and Cameron gets sucked into their gardener's woes, much to Mitchell's chagrin.
Mitchell plants the seed in Jay's head that he thinks one of Jay's old buddies might be secretly gay. Jay doesn't believe it for a second... except for all the questionable signs he now keeps noticing. Meanwhile Gloria gives Manny's date a makeover and Claire faces off with Phil's universal remote.
Claire feels slightly inadequate when her old friend, Valerie, visits and is nothing like Claire remembered. Meanwhile Jay has an unsettling locker room moment when he and Cameron go play racquetball, and Mitchell tries to help Gloria with some legal problems
Phil and Claire break from their traditional Valentine's Day dinner date and plan a little "role play" excursion. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria's ideas of romance clash when he takes her to a comedy show, and Mitchell and Cameron play cupid for Manny.
When Phil and Luke embark on a discovery expedition underneath the house, Phil tries not to let his fear of the dark and of creepy crawlies get the best of him. Meanwhile, Claire takes a nervous Haley to the DMV for her driver's test, Manny's sudden illness before a friend's amusement park birthday party makes Gloria suspicious, and Cameron and Mitchell invite Lily's pediatrician over for what turns out to be an anxiety-ridden brunch.
After reconnecting on Facebook, Phil invites his old high school girlfriend to drop by the house, but this friendly visit quickly turns into trouble. Meanwhile Jay accidentally kills Manny's beloved pet turtle, then goes to extremes to cover his tracks, and an overworked Mitchell finally stands up to his boss.
Phil and Claire each tackle one of their kids' school projects; Jay and Mitchell set out on their traditional father-son outing to see the meteor showers, but Mitchell is surprised to see Manny will be joining them; and with the boys gone, Gloria and Cameron go out for some quality bonding time, but not without a few mishaps.
It could not be more perfect that Phil's birthday and the release date of a hot new product coincide, and he wants nothing so much as to be one of the first people to get one; this is Claire's mission. Meanwhile, before coming to Phil's party, Mitchell is preoccupied with a new found desire to toughen up, Cameron gets himself involved in a neighbor's marital problems, and it's Jay against Gloria and Manny in chess.
When Luke and Manny's hot-tempered basketball coach quits in the middle of a game, Jay and Phil both jockey to fill the position. Claire and Gloria each struggle with the realization that they might not be number one in their children's lives anymore, and Mitchell takes Cameron along to meet a prospective employer, but Cameron's big personality doesn't necessarily help to make a good impression.
Claire is caught off guard when Phil's father shows up in an RV with a little four legged friend, and she becomes suspicious that he might be hiding a larger reason for the visit. Meanwhile, when Cameron hears Dylan is down a drummer in his band, he enthusiastically offers to fill in, and Jay and Gloria have to pay the consequences of accidentally taking Manny to see a traumatizing horror movie.
For Jay's birthday, Gloria gives him the best surprise -- a romantic birthday getaway to Hawaii -- the only kicker is she invited the whole entire family to come along. Everyone arrives at the airport, and it's a maddening scene with forgotten I.D.'s, security breaches and flying phobias.
Jay could not be more excited to do nothing but indulge and relax in this tropical paradise, but then an unexpected reality check dampens his plans. Meanwhile, Phil is determined to make this trip romantic for Claire, Mitchell and Cameron have opposing views on whether to sightsee or not to sightsee, and the kids get into a little bit of mischief when left to their own devices.
Claire painstakingly plans for a new family portrait to be taken, but it seems like everything and everybody is working against her. Gloria and Manny go with Phil and Alex to a Lakers game and end up having a very awkward moment on the jumbotron; Luke interviews Jay for a school project, and Cameron gets a gig as a wedding singer while Mitchell is home alone with Lily and a wayward pigeon.
Phil finally agrees to sell the old station wagon but only after a family trip down memory lane; Cameron asks Jay for help when Mitchell decides to build a life-size princess castle for Lily.
Gloria decides to honor her late grandmother by cooking more traditional Colombian meals; Claire finds out Alex is interested in a boy; Mitchell's aversion to public displays of affection causes an argument.
When an earthquake hits, Claire gets stuck in the bathroom with the plumber; Manny experiences an existential crisis while out with Jay; Mitchell and Cameron use the quake as an excuse to get out of a party thrown by a friend (Nathan Lane).
Claire tries to stop Phil from embarrassing himself at a realtors' banquet by giving an unfunny speech, while Mitchell tries to convince Cameron to change his wardrobe. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria go to a quinceañera hosted by one of his employees, and Haley gives Alex advice on how to be cool.
In an attempt to reconnect the family, Phil and Claire challenge the family to see who can abstain from using their electronic devices the longest. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron attempt to get Lilly into the best pre-school and Gloria deals with the neighbor's barking dog.
Claire gets ready to spookify the Dunphy house for the trick or treaters during her favorite holiday. She gives each family member a role to play, but nothing goes right. Cameron won't stop hating the holiday due to a traumatic childhood experience. Mitchell had a terrible day at work, and Gloria acts weird after Jay and Manny tease her about her accent.
Claire and Haley have a bit of quality girl time while they're stuck at home sick, and Phil is preoccupied by the taunts of a chirping smoke detector. Gloria and Manny's surprise visit at Jay's work leads to headaches for Jay, and Cameron gets swept up by all the lights and cameras when he goes behind Mitchell's back and takes Lily for a commercial.
It's Manny's birthday and the family is gathering at a restaurant to celebrate, though Manny himself is depressed about getting older. Phil and Claire decide to engage in a not-so-friendly car race on the way to the restaurant, and Mitch and Cam get sidetracked when they stop at the mall to pick up a gift.
Mitchell tries to tell Cameron how he feels uncomfortable with his mom, Barb Tucker. Meanwhile, Haley breaks up with Dylan much to Phil's dismay and Claire's delight. Jay has a little stomach ache that gets exacerbated when he and Manny look it up on the Internet.
At Luke and Manny's first school dance, Jay and Phil take them to the mall which turns disastrous, Claire's happiness turns into jealousy when Gloria joins the school dance committee. Meanwhile, Cameron and Mitchell learn about Lily biting other kids at the playground.
Claire becomes a determined neighborhood vigilante hoping to catch and stop a menacing car that speeds though their streets. Meanwhile, Phil is busy trying to land an important listing with a difficult client, Jay teaches Manny how to ride a bike -- only to learn Gloria needs lessons too -- and Mitchell and Cameron stumble upon a mysterious neighbor who is quite the charmer.
Phil and Claire pressure Alex to ease back on her school work, but begin to worry about their own intellectual drives. Meanwhile, Jay is upset when Gloria tries to befriend a new couple, and Mitchell runs into an old female flame.
It's Phil and Claire's anniversary, and when the kids go to surprise them with breakfast in bed, they get a surprise of their own. Jay and Gloria's plans for a Vegas vacation are ruined because of a brutally honest email accidentally sent to Claire, and Mitchell and Cam try to get into a new restaurant owned by a mom at Lily's preschool.
Claire and Phil decide to reprise their role-playing adventure from last year's Valentine's Day. Meanwhile, Jay's surprise plans for Gloria keeps getting interrupted, and a secret admirer comes between Cameron and Mitchell.
The guest list for Lily's princess-themed birthday party gets a little out of hand when Mitchell decides to invite his mom, much to Claire's dismay, and disinvite Fizbo, much to Cameron's dismay. Things get even more strange when DeDe shows up with Claire's old high school boyfriend in tow, and Jay and Gloria each turn to their own unique methods of dealing with this gathering of misfits.
Phil and Claire have a huge fight and Phil hasn't a clue as to what it was over, so Gloria steps in to counsel Phil while Jay counsels Claire. Meanwhile, Jay has some regret in buying Gloria a karaoke machine, and Cameron is in full prep mode for a huge fund-raising event and asks Mitchell and Luke for help.
Claire runs herself ragged trying to fix the relationship between Haley and Alex, while Phil sneaks off to the spa. Meanwhile, Gloria is horrified by Jay's morbid plans to purchase two side-by-side crypts in preparation of their death, and Cameron decides he wants to write a book that celebrates the fact that Lily is adopted, but soon learns something new.
Luke becomes friends with a curmudgeon old neighbor, which does not please Phil and Claire. Meanwhile, Gloria and Manny try to get Jay to join them at the symphony, but in an attempt to avoid the concert, he instead ends up with Mitchell and Cameron on their "boys' night out" while Haley babysits for Lily.
Cameron is overzealous in his planning of the spring musical performance at Luke and Manny's school. Jay's brother visits while Phil convinces the family to be in his new TV ad.
Claire and Gloria's Mother's Day excursion outdoors with the kids turns into the mother of all disasters. Meanwhile, Phil and Jay share an awkward moment when they stay home to prepare dinner for everyone, and Cameron worries about gender roles in his relationship with Mitchell.
Jay advises a dog trainer, while Phil and Claire switch parenting duties to the kids' chagrin. Mitchell has an extra Lady Gaga ticket when Cameron ends up sick.
The whole family is gathering at Jay's before heading out to Alex's graduation ceremony from middle school, but while at the house, Jay is preoccupied hiding a botox mishap from everyone, Cameron is upset about Mitchell's habit of laughing at his expense, and Phil tries to sympathize with, yet also criticizes Claire on her impending breakdown over the kids growing up too fast. All of this, plus a faulty gate, could mean their missing Alex's big moment.
Jay wants to go fishing on his birthday, but the family insists he have a big party, leading Claire and Mitchell to get trapped in their childhood yard, Phil to encounter his college nemesis at the mall and Cameron to have trouble at the bakery.
While vacationing on Lost Creek Ranch, the three families try their hands at a little cattle herding, skeet shooting and horseback riding. There are also some big firsts, a huge surprise and an actual face-off between Jay and a cowboy named Hank.
Mitchell and Cameron plan an evening with the whole family to break the happy news that they're attempting to adopt another child. However, things go wrong when they realize Lily may not take well to another baby in the house. Meanwhile, Claire and Jay are each focused with proving a point.
Jay helps Manny with a school fundraiser. Claire petitions for a stop sign at a busy intersection. Phil and Luke try to create a viral video. Gloria searches for Stella.
Gloria tries to help Jay and Manny with their problems but both are unreceptive. Claire considers running against Councilman Duane Bailey. Cam and Mitch are the victims of a hit-and-run accident.
Gloria persuades Jay to commit to a night of salsa dancing after seeing how much his friend Shorty and his girlfriend do together. Meanwhile, Cameron makes a bet that he can get a woman's phone number at the bar, and Phil builds a tree house for Luke.
The Pritchetts rally for a good cause after a neighbor's house burns down, but there's a downside to their Samaritan intentions when Jay throws out his back, Cameron takes on a moving truck, and some donated toys fall into the wrong hands.
When an old neighborhood kid returns to town as a hugely successful internet billionaire, it gets Phil thinking of what could have been. Jay feels Manny could use a little dose of constructive criticism, and Cameron is offended when Mitchell questions the authenticity of his colorful childhood stories.
The Pritchett clan decide to celebrate Christmas a little early (and in a hurry) so they split up to gather the holiday trappings as Mitchell, Alex and Lily hunt for a tree, Gloria and Luke fetch the ornaments, and Claire and Haley shop for the gifts. Meanwhile, Phil and Manny buy the groceries and Jay and Cameron stand by to wrap presents.
Phil contemplates the worst, after missing a call from the doctor. Elsewhere, Javier, Manny's biological father, pays another visit to take his son to the horse races, Mitchell wins an environmental law award, creating a competition between Cam and himself on who has the better trophy, and Gloria tutors Haley in Spanish.
Jay and Claire take control of their kids' school projects from Manny and Luke, while Haley and Gloria help Phil with a real estate presentation. Elsewhere, Cam and Mitchell meet with a potential birth mother.
Claire prepares for her debate with Duane Bailey. Mitch and Cam try to clean up Lily's language before her turn as a flower girl. Jay blames Stella's strange behavior on Gloria.
Phil's preoccupation with a business opportunity blinds him to his new partner's inappropriate behavior around Claire. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria may regret letting Mitchell and Cameron be their temporary house guests when their home is being fumigated.
Phil and Claire go overboard with drinks, and divulging personal information, on a night out to celebrate the sale of a house to Mitchell and Cameron's friends.
It's a day of disturbing realizations when Mitchell manages to ruin one of Jay's proudest golf moments, Phil overhears something that may forever change how he sees his little girl, and Gloria stumbles upon Claire's dangerous little secret.
Mitchell feels pressured to make Cameron's birthday extra special. People start to question Jay's manliness, and the girls interfere with Phil's leap day plans.
The funeral service for a beloved clown mentor reunites Cameron with his estranged ex-clown partner, Lewis. Phil is serious about landing a very important listing, only to get trumped by a notorious bulldozer of an agent, Mitzi Roth. Manny has a cool new friend, which makes both Jay and Gloria suspicious.
Claire's race for town council comes to a head on Election Day as the Dunphys make phone calls for votes and Mitchell and Cameron take to the streets to campaign, while the candidate endures technical problems during some last-minute interviews.
A visit from Cameron's father features an awkward dinner for Jay and Gloria at Mitchell and Cameron's house. Meanwhile, Claire helps Luke face the death of an older neighbor, Phil and Alex have a father-daughter bonding experience, and Haley throws a party without permission.
Phil buys a car without consulting Claire. Jay is on a mission to get to his high-school reunion with Gloria and Manny. Lily loses her favorite toy on a train.
When the family travels to Disneyland, Phil struggles to keep up with Luke, Claire is shocked when they run into Dylan, Jay and Gloria disagree about what are sensible shoes for the day, and Mitch and Cam must contain Lily's new affinity for running.
Gloria and Jay bicker while trying to order lunch at a diner. Claire and Cam have different theories on how to discipline kids. Luke accepts an award under false pretenses. Phil has a hard time firing Mitchell from his temporary job at the real estate agency. The entire family participates in Alex's living art display of Norman Rockwell's Thanksgiving painting.
Gloria's bilingualism comes in handy on Mitchell and Cameron's quest to adopt another child. Meanwhile, Jay and Manny help Lily get ready for a dance recital. Alex goes to her first prom, and Haley announces her future plans, which come as a shock to her family.
Phil takes Jay on an unconventional fishing trip; Gloria wonders how to break the news about her pregnancy; Dylan temporarily moves in with the Dunphys; Cam and Mich think about adopting a cat.
Claire and Phil embarass Haley when they drop her off at college; Manny makes Gloria and Jay take a class; Lily gets into a tussle on her first day of kindergarten.
Phil gets a vasectomy; Gloria and Jay can't agree on whether or not they should find out the sex of the baby; Mitchell tries to steer Cameron towards getting a part-time job.
Luke wants to quit magic and Phil just can't seem to accept it. Meanwhile, one of Gloria's new pregnancy symptoms is snoring and she's keeping the whole house awake, forcing Jay to take desperate measures; and Mitch and Cam's household dynamic is put to the test when they decide to swap duties -- Mitch staying at home with Lily while Cam goes off to work at his new job as the music teacher at Luke and Manny's school.
Claire must reign in her enthusiasm for Halloween and keep her celebration kid-friendly; Phil decides to hold an open house on Halloween; Mitch and Cam have a costume party; Gloria's hormones make her more quick-tempered than usual.
Jay and Gloria hold a yard sale to help Manny and Luke with their school's charity fundraiser, and the entire family pitches in: Phil feels pressured to both sell and buy something, Mitch and Cam help Claire assess Alex's new 'boy friend,' and Manny finds an old trunk that hides a secret Gloria wants to see remain a secret.
Cameron watches Alex and Luke while Phil, Claire and Mitchell deal with Haley's arrest; Jay tries to cut a surprise visit from Dede short, so she doesn't learn about Gloria's pregnancy.
When Claire takes Manny and Luke along to Alex's academic decathlon for the weekend, Phil attempts to throw together a boys' night at the house. Cam and Mitch arrange for quite the surprise baby gift for Jay and Gloria.
Mitch and Cam try to save an old tree in the park. Jay takes Manny to a kid's Olympics-themed birthday party. Gloria and Claire have an eventful shopping trip.
When Manny and Luke's Little League team makes it to the playoffs, Claire and Cameron search for a field to use. Gloria uses a microphone to sing to the baby.
Jay and the family plan to celebrate New Year's together at a hotel in Palm Springs, but the hotel doesn't meet their expectations; Alex and Haley are faced with challenges as they try to watch the kids back at home.
When Gloria's mother and sister visit, they bring traditions, baby names and family baggage; Phil helps the kids with their problems; Mitchell and Cameron try to correct Lily's bad habits.
When the lead in the school's production of "Phantom of the Opera" gets sick, Manny is willing to do anything to land the lead; Phil and Jay wind up in a golf-off with Mitch and Pepper; Gloria and Alex visit a psychic.
Claire and Phil’s Valentine’s Day romp ends with Claire in the hospital. Jay and Gloria’s attempts at romance face constant interruption. After hosting a wild party, Cam and Mitch are left with hangovers and a new housemate.
Things get awkward when Phil shows up at Claire's college reunion. Jay is fixated on winning a big bowling tournament. A wig malfunction during an elaborate photo shoot with Joe leads to unfortunate results.
Mitch and Cam's friend Sal announces she's getting married the next day and they are in the wedding; Gloria doesn't trust her new nanny; Claire bonds with Haley; Phil helps Luke with a girl.
Claire and Cam bring in a third party (Wendi McLendon-Covey) when they reach an impasse on a landscaping decision; Phil teaches basic fix-it skills to the kids; Mitch helps Lily with a bully.
At the hospital Claire and Phil see the older version of their family; Mitchell and Cameron plan a day for Lily and Gloria; Manny and Jay go to a private school to look around.
Phil gets desperate when Cam and Claire’s flipped house is more difficult to sell than expected; Javier brings his new girlfriend along to visit Manny.
Phil is jazzed to share the wonders of residential real estate with Luke and Manny’s classmates for career day. Gloria challenges Jay’s claims of always wanting to become a novelist. Mitch and Cam make a costly mistake while executing tooth fairy duties.
Mitch’s ex-boyfriend, a personable and successful doctor, invites the whole family to a fundraising event at a roller rink; Phil teaches Gloria how to skate; Haley helps Alex talk to boys.
Phil gets a new RV for a fun family road trip. Jay and Gloria search for Manny's backpack. Lily's gymnastics meet brings out Cam and Mitch's competitive spirit.
Everyone flies down to Florida to be with Phil after his mom's passing. Claire helps Phil with Gracie's last wish for Frank, and the kids reflect on the gifts grandma left for them. Gloria has to contend with an outstanding arrest warrant in Florida, Cam finds himself fitting right into an elderly women's group at Frank's retirement community, and Jay runs into a pivotal person from his past.
The family is in the throes of summer activities: Phil and Claire are trying to orchestrate a kid-free week by coordinating Luke's camp with Haley's beach trip and Alex's volunteering excursion; Jay and Gloria are getting Manny ready for his first solo trip back to Colombia; and Mitch and Cam make it a summer to remember.
Luke and Manny have their first day at high school, which proves to be harder for Phil and Gloria than for the boys. Elsewhere, Claire makes her big return to the workforce at Jay's closet company and is a little rusty on her first day, and Cam starts a new substituting gig at the high school, leaving Mitch to try to juggle Lily's first day of pre-school and a very important meeting at work.
Phil's job takes up a lot of his time; Luke has his friends over for a poker game; Gloria worries the baby is cursed; Cam hosts a funeral for the cat's imaginary wife.
The family attends the annual school fair and Phil has a big 20th wedding anniversary surprise planned for Claire at the fairgrounds, but unfortunately, she simultaneously has a surprise for him back at home. Gloria signs Jay up to be a fair cop for the day and it gets worse when he’s partnered up with his nemesis. Elsewhere, Mitch, Cam and Lily try to enjoy the fair but Cam is in a funk from the football team’s recent losing streak, and Haley has an awkward first encounter with Andy.
With some urging from Claire, Jay begrudgingly agrees to return to ClosetCon this year, and things get interesting when Jay is reunited with some old colleagues. Cam takes Mitch and Lily to the Tucker family farm for the first time and is excited to fold them into country life, that is until Grams pays an unexpected visit. And back at home, Phil, Gloria and the kids get into some mischief involving Jay’s very delicate Apollo 13 spacecraft model
With a big football game coming up and a record to break, Coach Cam is intensely focused and showing no mercy even when the opposing team is playing with an unexpected disadvantage. Elsewhere, Claire is determined to prove to the staff that she is more than just the boss's daughter, and Phil tries to teach his kids a lesson about optimism, but the universe just isn't cooperating.
Jay takes Manny out to cut down their own Christmas tree, and Gloria is on edge with mom in town, but changes her tune when she sees her bonding with Claire. Elsewhere, Mitchell is forced to do last minute shopping when they didn’t get Lily the right gift, and Cameron takes Lily to a charity event where they experience the true meaning of Chritmas.
Phil tricks Luke into taking a dance class, but the jokes on him when the white lie indirectly lands him in the slammer. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria are throwing birthday parties for both Manny and Joe and are concerned Manny might be going for girls out of his league, and Mitch and Cam get a rude awakening in the cutthroat world of booking a wedding venue.
The high school open house puts the parents in a bit of a time warp when Claire finds herself stressed out by all the pressure, Gloria encounters a “mean girl” mom and Jay teaches Phil how to play a little hookie. Elsewhere, Mitchell gets defensive when he encounters his judgemental, environmentalist neighbor and Alex goes to see a therapist.
Haley turns the tables when Claire and Phil try to talk with her about her future; Jay receives news from his friend Shorty and his wife, Darlene; Cam and Mitch go on a romantic date.
Claire and Phil decide to spy on Luke and Manny as they’re hanging out with one of their more questionable friends. Meanwhile, Gloria is furious with Jay because she thinks he had a dream about another woman, but Jay misinterprets her anger for another offense he committed. And, Cam secretly uses Mitch as a scapegoat to get out of attending a party, while Haley tries to keep her photography exhibit a secret from her family.
Phil is upset to have lost his elected office of social chair to his nemesis Gil Thorpe, and when he finds out Luke is competing against Gil's kid in a wrestling match, it becomes his own personal battle. Claire is nervous for a big client meeting but things get extra hairy when Mitch and Cam ask her to pick up Lily from school and conveniently leave out the fact that her class just had a lice scare. Elsewhere, Gloria chaperones Manny's school field trip to the museum.
Cameron is in charge of the school’s big spring dance, but when a popular teacher returns from sabbatical, a bit of not-so-friendly competition blooms. And with Claire on chaperone duty at the dance, Phil gets Haley to accompany him to his annual realtor’s banquet and is looking forward to impressing his little girl. Elsewhere, Mitch starts a new job and can’t seem to get a good read on the new boss or the work environment. Jay and Gloria babysit Lily and an accident with Gloria’s purse ignites a case of whodunit and it’s Lily’s word against baby Joe’s.
It’s male-bonding day when Jay takes Luke into the garage to show him the way around tools and impart some manly wisdom, and Gloria goes with Claire and Lily to shop for Lily’s flower girl dress. Elsewhere, Mitch, Cam, Alex and Manny go for a cultured day at the museum but it eventually becomes survival of the smartest. And Phil enthusiastically offers to help Andy with his anniversary gift to his girlfriend, which is an elaborate video expression of his love.
he adults are Vegas-bound when Jay hooks them up with Excelsior Level hotel accommodations courtesy of one of his big clients, but after learning there’s an even higher level, Jay becomes obsessed with upgrading. Meanwhile, everyone’s sneaking around when Claire secretly hits the tables to win back money she lost years ago, Phil goes underground auditioning for a secret society of magicians, Cam ducks out of a spa day with Mitch to join their friend’s bachelor party shenanigans, and Gloria is determined to hide a female version of dog butler Barkley from Jay.
Mitch struggles to hide his true feelings about the unflattering wedding topper Cam's father whittled out of soap for them, Phil tries to help Gloria sell her pre-Jay apartment but they get sidetracked at the neighborhood salon, and Claire and the kids head over to Jay's early to help him prep for the special night with the family he's hosting but they end up just butting heads.
The entire family tags along as Phil fulfills his mom’s wish for him to return to his roots and visit the country where he was conceived, Australia. Unfortunately, Phil’s attempts to embrace his native land are met by a lot of rejection, while Jay and Claire let work eat into vacation time, and Mitch and Cam get reacquainted with an old friend they can’t stand but is now a big-time celebrity in Australia
Phil fails at his one task to stay home and wait for the repairman, forcing him to tell an elaborate lie to hide the truth from Claire, but the stress is more than he can physically handle. Meanwhile, Gloria is obsessing over the family portrait she is responsible for organizing this year. Claire accuses Cam of being too snobby to use her girls’ hand-me-downs and Jay secretly enters Stella in a dog show.
Jay, Gloria and Manny challenge each other to step outside their comfort zone and try something new. Mitch and Cam’s wedding is getting too big and costly so they resort to selling a couple of their prized possessions, and the kids play a joke on Phil and Claire.
Mitch and Cam’s big day is finally here and nothing can ruin it, until nothing turns into a whole lot of somethings and puts wedding planner extraordinaire Pepper Saltzman to the test. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria host the Tuckers, Phil squeezes in an eye procedure before the festivities and Claire embraces her role as “best woman".
The wedding day chaos continue as the entire party shifts from one contingency plan to another. Guests start to get testy, Mitchell and Cameron are feeling discouraged and poor Claire shows physical wear and tear, but an unexpected turn of events leads to the ceremony we’ve all been waiting for.
Cameron isn't ready to conclude his honeymoon with Mitchell after their wedding. Gloria takes Jay to task over his appearance. The Dunphys must ready themselves for the return to school.
Phil, Luke, and Haley cause nothing but aggravation for Alex when they tag along on her tour of Caltech. Jay and Gloria have trouble finding the perfect gifts for their anniversary.
The Dunphys are down with a cold, thanks to Phil. Jay and Gloria try to help Manny deal with playing football, and Cameron doesn't know how much playtime to give him. Mitchell debates with Lily's new friend, Sydney.
Things become tense when the Dunphys temporarily move into a hotel, Gloria is suspicious of Manny's new girlfriend, and Mitchell discovers that he has jinxed Cameron's football team.
The Dunphys try to persuade the perfect couple to move in next door, Manny dates the daughter of Jay's biggest nemesis, and Mitchell and Cameron try to get Lily a new teacher.
Phil takes over Halloween decorating duties from Claire. Jay is upset when he wants to dress up as Prince Charming but Gloria buys him a Shrek costume. Mitchell has a problem in court with the stenographer working in a scary costume.
Haley and Andy start spending a lot of time together. Gloria wants Manny to learn Spanish at school instead of French, and a reporter takes more than a passing interest in Cameron and Mitchell's lives.
Phil and Luke take over Thanksgiving duties but Claire readies an emergency plan. Jay and Gloria get their holiday plans interrupted and regret not telling anyone. Cameron has to think of a way to get Lily to wear a dress for dinner.
Jay and Gloria try to get out of parties they must attend. Mitchell's kind gesture to a co-worker backfires on him, and Phil and Claire think Alex is lying when she tells them she found a boyfriend.
Claire and Gloria hang out with Haley on her 21st birthday. Alex, Luke and Manny babysit Lily and she decides to drop the ‘where do babies come from?’ bomb.
Jay's birthday comes with a number of interesting gifts, including Phil's high-tech outdoor grill, and Claire and Mitchell's offer to pay back some ancient loans—though they don't think he'll actually accept it. Meanwhile, Gloria teaches Manny and Luke a lesson about drinking; and Andy finds himself in an awkward situation when Haley brings her new doctor boyfriend.
Jay agrees to sub in on Cam's bowling team, not knowing it's an all-gay league. Phil and Clair have an unexpectedly nice time with their neighbors. Gloria and Mitch agree to go out with Haley.
Alex learns she has to share valedictorian honors with a rival, but the tie could be broken by a 1-mile run for a gym grade neither has completed. Meanwhile, Gloria studies for her U.S. citizenship test, but is distracted by a visit from Javier; and Mitchell and Cameron join a protest against a restaurant where they actually can't wait to dine.
Claire gets a job offer from a big hotel chain, but can't tell if Jay wants her to take it or keep working for him. Meanwhile, Phil, Haley and Luke are more interested in Alex's senior "ditch day" than she is; and Manny is dopey from pain killers after having his wisdom teeth pulled, so Gloria seizes the opportunity to get rid of his new girlfriend.
The sixth season ends with Alex's graduation party at Jay and Gloria's house, but Phil is stuck in Seattle on a business trip, so he uses the latest in technology to be as close as he can get. Meanwhile, Claire worries about Alex's gift, Jay complains that Gloria's cousin has overstayed his welcome, Mitchell keeps the news of his layoff a secret from Cameron, and a visit from Andy's girlfriend turns Haley's world upside down.
Haley gets back together with Dylan. Alex and Sanjay plan their breakup since they are both going off to college. Mitchell avoids finding a new job and takes up art. Jay and Gloria try to find a good preschool for Joe.
Phil and Claire are hurt when Alex lies about her college move-in date and Luke doesn't want to spend the day at Phil's open house; being landlords stresses out Mitch and Cam.
Mitchell takes a job with a rival of Jay's; Luke and Manny visit Alex but use the opportunity to meet girls; Gloria is upset when a cheerleader doesn't decorate Manny's locker; Phil and Claire try to play chicken when Dylan moves in.
Phil convinces Lily to help with hatch the ducks he made a habitat for; Claire wants to impress her father with some ideas she has for the business; Cam spends time bonding with the frat guys.
Gloria is excited at the possibility for being selected for jury duty; Claire brings Alex and Haley to work and hopes to impress them; Phil takes Manny and Luke's class to community service day.
Claire and the kids seize an opportunity to help expedite the ducks leaving the nest while Phil is off visiting Alex at college. Jay helps Mitch with Lily’s sleepover with her friends from her Vietnamese dance troupe. Gloria and Cam are off on a hot pepper heist carefully orchestrated by Manny in order to meet a big hot sauce delivery deadline.
Phil feels unappreciated as Claire is busy running the closet business. A life-size standee of Gloria for her hot sauce display receives some unsavory attention. Cam and Mitch feel suspicious of their new renters.
A powerful storm hits Los Angeles and causes widespread power outages, so the entire Pritchett clan hunkers down at Jay and Gloria's house to use their generator. Meanwhile, Phil tries to make amends for an embarrassing moment, Mitchell and Cameron desperately try to save Lily's birthday party, and Haley turns on her charm for Andy.
Jay and Gloria are suffering with a lack of sleep after Joe goes through a fussy phase. Claire's balance of life and work is so flawless and easy that her family is getting suspicious. Mitchell and Cameron are poorly treated at their friends' wedding and wonder what they did to deserve it.
Phil has a new client whom he tries to hide from his wife because she's attractive, while Claire would rather keep her hot yoga instructor a secret. Jay becomes preoccupied making a Web show, but is tormented by an Internet troll. Lily is nervous about learning to ride a bicycle, and her parents aren't exactly the best teachers.
Phil has the crazy idea of going on a spontaneous trip to Paris with Claire, the only problem is that they are both so ridiculously tired but try to push through it. Jay has taken over their bathroom remodel, which proves to be pretty hazardous for Gloria, Manny and Joe. Cameron's sister Pam is staying at the house after her husband has left her, but her emotional outbursts are driving Mitchell crazy. And Haley and Andy go on a wild night bender.
Manny and Luke babysit Lily so the adults in the family can have some fun, which includes Phil and Mitchell seeing a movie, Claire and Gloria going to a spa, and Jay and Cameron hitting a sports bar to watch a big fight, but Claire suspects the boys are going to throw a party.
Claire brings home a stray dog and gets the kids to help her hide it from Phil while she tries to find its owner. Unfortunately, her evasive behavior only makes Phil try even harder to shower her with more attention. Elsewhere, Gloria invites a new couple over even after Jay has made it clear he doesn’t want to make any new friends, but when the husband turns out to be a real guy’s guy, Jay might be eating crow. And Cameron rents out their upstairs apartment to a Christian rock band.
With Closet-Con right around the corner, Claire is on high alert and convinced there is a mole in the company. Meanwhile, Phil goes vigilante when he and Gloria confront Auntie Alice for stealing her hot sauce recipe. Jay tries to teach Joe how to do some manly handy work, and with prom coming up, Mitch helps Luke with his "promposal" while Cam helps with Manny's, but Cam goes a little overboard, revealing that there maybe something deeper going on.
Dede is getting remarried, and Manny convinces the family to take the train up to the wedding. Jay could not be more ecstatic that Dede has moved on for good but his overenthusiasm might come back and bite him later. Claire and Mitchell work on their toast while Phil and Cam geek out over their favorite author, who is also on the train. Luke and Manny go a little girl crazy; Gloria gets stuck in coach; and Alex gets caught up in the romance of the train herself.
Claire can’t seem to find the right time to fire one of her employees, while, back at home, Phil thinks he caught Luke with a girl in his bed, and no one seems to notice that Alex has moved back home for the summer. Jay refuses to accept that it might be harder to reenter the workforce than he thought, and Cameron and Mitch butt heads on how to share time with Lily now that Cameron took a summer job in Kansas City.
After recent trips take the Dunphys to New York; Mitch, Cam and Lily to the Midwest; and Jay, Gloria, Manny and Joe to Juarez, Mexico; the Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan reunites for Father’s Day.
Jay does not want to give the new family moving in across the street the wrong impression and goes out of his way to make sure they know he is the best kind of neighbor, while Manny decides that the best way to an attractive and radical-thinking teenage girl's heart is through his actions. Meanwhile, at the Pritchett house, the entire family is using Alex's recent bout of mono to their advantage. Finally, Cam and Mitchell have always felt they were the most open, non-judgmental and supportive parents. However, when they overhear Lily insulting her new friend, they have to take a quick look in the mirror before they teach her a lesson about acceptance.
The Dunphys and Pritchett’s are going head-to-head when Luke decides his best chance at getting into college is running for senior class president against Manny. The outcome of this election is even more important to Jay, Gloria and Claire, who prove to be dubious campaign managers. Now that Haley has started her own promotion business, Phil insists on introducing her to marketing guru Merv Schechter, who hasn’t seen a stress ball he can’t slap a logo on yet. Meanwhile, Cam finds out his star football player is moving away and makes a rash decision that is going to make home life a little cramped for Mitch and Cam.
Phil can’t cover up his excitement when he’s invited to appear in a real-estate news segment for the local news. The day gets even better after meeting his “weatherman” hero, Rainer Shine. Phil made one little mistake; he introduced him to Hayley. Over at the Pritchett house, Jay decides to infuse a little grit into Manny’s video interview for his college application. In the Tucker-Pritchett home, Lily is over their new houseguest and decides to take matters into her own hands.
Luke’s Halloween party isn’t the monster bash he dreamed of and is at risk of having the worst party of the year. Sensing trouble, the rest of the Dunphy’s realize all his party needs is a visit from Rod Skyhook, a little promotion and some adult supervision to get it started. Meanwhile at the Tucker-Pritchett home, Cam faces off with his Halloween nemesis while Lily and Mitchell try to save the day and work to keep him from going to the darkside. Finally, when Jay finds out that Manny is going to a party at the home of an old enemy, he enlists him to deliver a trick he will never forget.
Jay’s favorite place in the world, and only refuge, may be losing some of its charm when Phil considers becoming a member. At the Dunphy house, Claire mistakes her influence on Alex’s life choices, and Hayley cares too much about what Alex thinks about hers. Meanwhile, when Cam doesn’t give Mitchell the full story on what his play is really about, it really puts Mitchell in the spotlight.
It’s going to be a Thanksgiving jamboree at the Pritchett-Tucker home this year and Cameron has spared no expense. While Phil tries to get used to Rainer Shine dating his daughter, Hayley has to break it to her dad that she would rather spend the rest of her holiday with her new boyfriend than stay for the traditional family football game.
Hayley's plan for a fun-filled girl's day with Rainer Shine's teen daughter may be a little more angst-filled than expected. Meanwhile, Luke finds himself in a compromising position with a widow at the club and unwittingly helps his grandpa, Jay, with his petition. At the Pritchett-Tucker home, Gloria, Phil and Cam have formed a secret alliance to ensure their respective "mistakes" are concealed from their spouses. However, their diabolical plan may be derailed when Mitchell starts suspecting something just isn't right.
When Manny and Luke put on the school’s lavish winter dance and end up over their heads due to a texting error, it is up to them to fix it before the end of the night. Meanwhile, Gloria, Claire, Mitchell and Cam all volunteer at the dance while Jay’s thinly veiled guise to get out of it by pretending to want to spend time with Phil backfires. During the dance, Claire and Gloria attempt to set up Marjorie, an overbearing mom, with the school’s principal. Finally, Mitchell is unnerved to be back in high school and is shocked to see a lot of himself in the school bully and feels he needs a little guidance.
Trying to recover from his Thanksgiving debacle, Cam decides to treat the family to a New Year's Day feast. After realizing that Cam's recent attempt is also a complete fail and in order to salvage their meal, Mitch uses a "concierge gift card" that he received as a Christmas gift. Cam soon discovers that the concierge who is on his way to save the day is none other than his ex-boyfriend, Keifth, a former circus ringmaster who left him without saying goodbye. Meanwhile, Phil's dad, Frank arrives with his new girlfriend, who happens to be Phil's childhood babysitter, which sets him on a confusing tailspin. Finally, Gloria and Jay have to decide who should take care of little Joe if something should ever happen to them.
Cam is incensed that an anonymous and rude parent robbed him of a precious Lily moment during her recent dance recital. While he and Hayley visit Alex at her coffee shop the next day, he thinks he recognizes the culprit and goes to extremes to uncover her identity, and give her a peace of his mind. Meanwhile, Jay, Claire and Mitch attend a family wedding and unexpectedly run into Dede at the reception. Afraid their parents are going to once again make a scene, Mitch and Claire devise a plan to keep them apart. Finally, Phil and Gloria are on a college tour with Luke and Manny, and have very different ways of getting the boys ready to head out on this new adventure and also learning to let go.
Fearful that the romance between him and Claire is fizzling, Phil calls upon his altar ego, Clive Bixby, to get Valentines day back on track. Meanwhile, much to Gloria’s chagrin, Jay shows a bit of child favoritism when they must deal with Joe’s inappropriate Valentine gift-giving and Manny’s dating indecisiveness. When Cam and Mitch try to empower Lily, Haley and Sal to stand up to the men in their lives, things don’t turn out as planned. Finally, Alex discovers she has a secret admirer who may be a little too involved with family.
Feeling empowered after his successful do-it-yourself project, Phil convinces Jay to co-invest in a property he has always wanted to develop. Meanwhile, Claire’s new obsession with a TV chef and her new love of cooking Sunday dinners hasn’t been as tasty as she thinks. Haley is the family’s only hope to add a little spice to the situation. At the Pritchett-Tucker house, Cam and Mitchell see that the family is too reliant on technology, so they attempt to teach Lily the importance of hard work, which ends disastrously. Back at the Pritchett’s, Jay feels replaced when he sees Gloria has hired Coach Gary to coach Joe and serve as a handy man.
Despite their lofty hopes, Phil and Jay's property investment might turn out to be a bust, forcing Phil to rethink his original dream. Meanwhile, Cam lands in the hospital due to a head injury and refuses to have an MRI thanks to a traumatic incident with a well when he was a child. Determined to finally impress Claire and keep her from re-gifting her birthday present, Gloria surprises her with a day of luxury at the office. However, after Claire had to implement some rather harsh budget cuts at work, a massage at her desk may not be sending the right message.
Cam is enraged when he receives an online video showing someone has been desecrating his beloved Fizbo costume, which sets him on a quest to restore Fizbo’s good name. Meanwhile, Phil is in for quite the surprise when he finally meets his new soon-to-be step-brother at Frank’s bachelor party. Finally, Manny’s newest play hits a little too close to home for Gloria, Claire and Haley when he enlists them to do a read through before he submits it to a young playwright festival.
After choking at last year’s charity basketball game, Phil has been training all year to redeem himself. However, when NBA stars Charles Barkley and DeAndre Jordan attend the game and start making bets, Phil tries to not buckle under the pressure. Meanwhile, Gloria has to step-up at Manny’s school when her nemesis, Donna Duncan, tries to shame her for her lack of support at the school. Finally, Claire does whatever it takes to keep a work mistake secret from Jay, while Jay’s concerned that Joe doesn’t have a healthy fear of him at all.
Mitchell knocks over an urn filled with the ashes of Cameron's beloved pet pig Lilly while exercising in the garage, but Cameron suspects his cover-up is a load of hogwash.
So much can happen to the Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan in five minutes! Mitch and Cam have five minutes to catch a new flight while fighting the effects of sleeping pills they took prematurely. Then at Rainer’s birthday dinner, Haley and Rainer are forced to reevaluate their entire relationship in the five minutes before the birthday cake arrives. Meanwhile, Phil and Claire pay a surprise visit to Alex and are given a five-minute surprise introduction to her new boyfriend. Finally, with only five minutes to catch a movie, Manny has to find the perfect parking space and endure Jay and Gloria’s backseat argument.
Frank Dunphy’s Roaring 20s-themed wedding day is finally here, and to get into the spirit, Phil gets the Dunphy clan to show up in costume. Once Claire and the kids realize they are the only ones dressed-up, they feel it’s time for a “funny” intervention with Phil. Meanwhile, Jay has mastered the art of saying no, but soon realizes that if you say no too many times, people stop asking; and Cam is in for a big surprise when he finally stops hiding behind Mitchell and stands up to his sister Pam.
Gloria, Claire, Haley, Alex, Lily, Luke and Manny are equally committed to showing their support for gender equality and the women’s movement in very different ways. Meanwhile, Jay and Phil are at odds on how their parking lot attendant, Joan, should be running their lot, and jealousy ensues when Pam prefers Mitchell’s help over Cam’s with her baby.
Everyone deserves a little alone time now and then, so when Mitch and Jay separately seek out a much-needed retreat from the family and end up at the same resort, it becomes clear just how “related” they really are. Meanwhile, Phil and Claire can’t seem to really enjoy the empty-nester life, and Cam, not knowing what to do with himself while Mitch is away, drops in on Gloria’s to lend a hand.
Manny’s father, Javier, shows up for his graduation and takes him out on a wild night of celebration, and then Jay steps in to pick-up the pieces. Meanwhile, the Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan is getting ready for Luke and Manny’s big day and dealing with the emotions that come with seeing your kids grow up and leave the nest.
Jay forces the family to take their family vacation on a houseboat on a lake in an effort to create memories that will last long after he’s gone. Meanwhile, Mitchell runs into an old flame that opens some old wounds; Cam has to stay out of the sun at all costs; Phil and Claire try out some adventureous excursions; and the kids’ quest for a good time may not be as fun as they expected.
Phil and Claire realize that Alex may be more self-sufficient in college than they give her credit for when they drop in for a quick visit. Meanwhile, Manny is determined to avoid a long tearful goodbye after Gloria and Jay move him into his college dorm. Finally, Mitch may have accidentally accelerated a planned renovation, and Hayley gets an unexpected opportunity when she befriends a wealthy female member at the country club.
Phil’s convinced he is going to have a day of bad luck after failing to successfully complete his daily superstition. However, Claire is eager to make it to a concert and has no time for his silly notion. Meanwhile, Mitch is certain that Cam is undermining him during their kitchen renovation, and Jay is determined to get Gloria to admit she was in a car accident.
Jay’s best friend, Shorty, is back from Costa Rica and stays at the house so they can catch up and reconnect. However, Shorty is spending more time with Gloria and seems to be avoiding Jay. Meanwhile, Alex is ready to shed her good-girl image and is going to prove to Claire that her relationship with Ben is definitely a sexual relationship.
Phil and Claire still want to celebrate Halloween in a big way, but it seems no one shares their same enthusiasm making them wonder if maybe everyone is right. Over at the Pritchett’s, Mitch and Cam are frustrated by how long Jay is taking to finish their kitchen remodel, which forces Mitch to finally stand up to his dad. Meanwhile, Gloria’s hospitality is wearing thin when Cam oversteps his boundaries as a house guest.
Claire is determined to make up for her less-than-joyful mood at Jay and Gloria’s wedding by throwing their tenth-anniversary party. As part of the festivities, Phil is going to perform a magic trick featuring Gloria appearing out of thin air in her wedding dress; that is if Gloria can still get into it!
During Jay's Thanksgiving toast, he honors the entire family on their recent successes, even though everyone knows that isn't quite true. As everyone desperately tries to hide the facts about their perceived triumphs, Phil works hard to master a classic magic trick and prove he's not the family failure.
The Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan recount all their biggest celebrity encounters. Phil shows a house to his musical hero, Coldplay’s Chris Martin, and is determined to make a good impression despite the intense pain radiating from a very inconvenient part of his body. Meanwhile, Jay’s day at jury duty takes an unexpected turn when he gets to serve it alongside one of America’s biggest football icons. Finally, Manny’s encounter with his favorite playwright and a celebrated actor and comedian don’t go exactly as you’d expect.
After leaving his real estate firm to strike out on his own, Phil decides a solo camping trip in the wild will be just what he needs to boost his confidence. Meanwhile, Mitchell’s plan to teach Cam a lesson in gullibility and Lily a lesson in responsibility backfires.
When Claire lands a big opportunity for Pritchett’s Closets, Jay expects a little validation for his contribution; and Pam’s ex-boyfriend Bo shows up and Mitchell sees this as the perfect opportunity to get Pam out of the house. Meanwhile, Luke and Alex stumble upon a successful online business that finally gets them on their feet.
Claire’s request to build a “She Shed” in their backyard is denied by the homeowners association and only Luke and Phil know the real reason why. Meanwhile Pameron lets Cam in on a family secret that forces him to visit Mitch’s therapist to work through this new information.
Gloria has to rush Phil to the hospital for an emergency surgery after he experiences some intense stomach pains and rallies the entire family to be by his side.
When Luke goes missing after a night out in a sketchy neighborhood, Manny, Phil and Gloria team up to track him down. Meanwhile, Haley is desperate to land an interview with the creator of a popular lifestyle website and interrupts Alex during one of her college classes. Alex’s professor, Arvin Fennerman, then proceeds to try and give Haley a piece of his mind.
Phil thinks that Gloria is upset at Jay for dropping the ball on Valentine’s Day, so he convinces Jay to spice things up with a little role playing that doesn’t go off as planned. Meanwhile, Mitch and Cam may have unwittingly ruined Luke’s Valentine’s Day date and are forced to make things right.
When Jay overhears Gloria on the phone talking about spanking, he assumes she is frustrated in the bedroom. When he attempts to light the spark again by giving her exactly what she wants, he realizes he might have made a mistake. Meanwhile, now that Mitchell has an amazing new job, he and Cam throw a party to rub it in Cam’s friends’ faces so they can no longer give him “the look of pity”.
The family goes on a wine tasting trip and stays in Haley’s new boss’ country house where the only rule is: Don’t touch the tiara! Meanwhile, Gloria and Mitch are invited to a party at Oprah’s house but can’t bring anyone else.
Haley’s brilliant astrophysicist boyfriend comes to meet the family, setting Claire and Phil off in a competition about which one of them is smarter, making Alex feel self-conscious about her dim but handsome firefighter boyfriend, Bill. Mitch and Cam go on a yoga retreat, but when Cam finds out his dream team, the Kansas City Royals, is having spring training next door, he can’t resist sneaking out.
When Haley hears that her loopy boss is looking for a product with the magical properties of peppers, she tries to gain favor by convincing Gloria to sell her salsa to NERP; Mitchell gets Cam the police ride-along he’s always dreamed of.
When Dede drops in unexpectedly, Mitchell and Cam come to a realization about her effect on their lives; Phil, Luke, Alex and Haley all have different bad news to break to Claire and compete about when to do it, the tiny window of time after her monthly spa day when she’s her most relaxed.
Haley meets Arvin’s parents but when things don’t go as planned, fate leads to an unexpected reunion with all of her ex-boyfriends. Meanwhile, the family seizes on a nursing home visit with Jay’s mean sister, Becky, to settle old scores. But as Jay, Claire and Mitchell compete for her time, Phil, Cam and Gloria end up getting trapped in the home’s basement with no way out.
Mitchell sneaks out to “Hero-Con” with fanboy Phil, dressed as their favorite characters from the show “Clash of Swords.” It’s great until Phil commits the ultimate fan faux pas. In a clash of another kind, Gloria’s dinosaur party for Joe is ruined when her nemesis, Dr. Donna Duncan, upstages her with a far bigger and better party right next door.
The Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan are going to be setting off more than a few fireworks when they get together at the annual Fourth of July parade where Jay will be acting as the grand marshal. Haley’s goodbye with Arvin before his trip to Switzerland doesn’t go as planned when she's distracted by the return of an old flame.
Haley needs a little help deciding whether or not to tell Arvin about her kiss with Dylan and goes to Mitch and Cam for their advice. Gloria suspects Manny’s Canadian girlfriend is made up and wants to find out the real truth.
Phil stumbles into an exciting new career after dropping by Luke’s college. Claire deals with her dad, and the merger of Pritchett’s Closets with a tech-savvy, hipper company. Mitch’s new high-profile case as an assistant district attorney is marred by an unflattering courtroom sketch by the resident artist.
Haley can’t seem to choose between her past and present relationships and is forced to make a decision. Manny returns to college and dorm life while his girlfriend continues to stay at Jay and Gloria’s—and might be overstaying her welcome.
When Phil learns that his real estate class will be cancelled if any additional students drop it, he turns on his powers of charm and flattery to keep one particular student from leaving. Then...Luke asks her out by inviting her over to dinner. Jay may unknowingly be flirting with the mother of Joe’s classmate and tries to set boundaries.
When Cam forgets the words to his favorite country song, he blames Mitch and decides he needs to reconnect with his roots and get a chicken. When Alex is up for a prestigious government job that requires a family interview, it causes everyone to overcompensate and jeopardize her chances. Haley and Dylan think it might be time they grew up a little.
Haley needs a little motherly advice from Claire as she considers her future with Dylan and her career. Jay and Cam’s less than politically correct coaching style earns them a class on sensitivity from Manny and Phil. Mitch runs into Phil’s nemesis at an unlikely place.
Dede’s husband, Jerry comes to town to bequeath her possessions to the family. Mitch and Claire receive a little more of Dede than they really know what to do with. Jay and Gloria feel sorry for Jerry and invite him to stay with them while he is in town.
Hayley wants to give the family a Christmas gift they will never forget if she can just figure out the perfect time. Claire is mad that Phil has once again borrowed the family Christmas tree for a house-showing. Jay, Gloria and Joe have to deal with some unwelcome visitors over the holidays.
Claire and Phil aren’t convinced that Haley and Dylan can make it on their own as they move them into their new apartment before the baby arrives. Meanwhile, Pameron gets out of prison early and has a bone to pick with Mitchell.
Phil and Claire decide to take a cycling tour through Italy before they become grandparents, and Dylan introduces them to his mom who has an interesting past. Meanwhile, Cameron and Mitchell discover some interesting reading material in Lily’s room and decide to confront her about it, while Gloria and Jay discover their respective great uncles may have fought on opposing sides of a war.
While preparing a presentation for his students about their future goals, Cam must also contend with a bully at the school and Jay is having a little technical trouble during his video conference. Meanwhile, the local mall is holding a photo shoot for its new ad campaign and Gloria tricks Phil and Joe into participating.
Phil may have conquered his biggest real estate challenge when he thinks he found Pepper his dream home. Meanwhile, in an attempt to connect with Lily, Mitch and Cam get invited to an exclusive event for her favorite vlogger.
Mitch, Cam and Phil crash Jay’s annual hiking trip to find an elusive bald eagle after Gloria asks them to keep an eye on him. Meanwhile, Gloria, Alex, Claire and Haley get together to plan her baby shower.
Dylan and Luke are really impressed with Bill’s tales of heroism and survival as a firefighter, which make Phil feel emasculated. To impress the guys, he invites them over for a little male-bonding moment that goes terribly wrong.
In an effort to be less negative, Claire is rebranding herself as the girl who says “yes” and inadvertently approves of Luke’s new relationship with someone from his work. Meanwhile, Phil tries to surprise Alex at school right before she receives an award she didn’t tell him about.
Haley and Dylan’s plan to quietly elope before the babies are born doesn’t go as smoothly as they had hoped. Meanwhile, Jay continues to try and get his new business off the ground by courting an Instagram celebrity.
Cam is finally getting a chance to shine when he is asked to preside over the high school graduation ceremony at the last minute, while Jay gives the commencement address. Meanwhile, Claire runs into her former high school rival who brings out the worst in her.
Haley is determined to follow the advice in her parenting books with the twins, but Phil and Claire think their old methods are better. Meanwhile, Manny is set to direct Jay’s dog bed commercial in the hopes of winning his ex-girlfriend back.
Claire needs to get everyone out of the house before they make her look bad in front of a reporter from an important women’s business magazine. Meanwhile, Jay invites Manny to a little wine tasting in an attempt to spend some quality time together.
Phil, Claire, Alex and Luke love having the twins around, but taking care of them is exhausting! However, when they realize the babies might help them with a few things on their to-do lists, they offer to give Haley the day off.
Mitch and Cam help Lily overcome her insecurities about wearing a bathing suit to a pool party but discover their own. Meanwhile, now that Gloria’s new internship is taking up so much of her time, Jay is feeling particularly neglected.
Phil is determined to finally scare Claire on Halloween. Meanwhile, for the first time, Gloria is feeling self-conscious about her age when someone correctly assumes she is Jay’s wife; and Mitch and Cam head to the WeHo Halloween Carnival after Lily decides to go to her first Halloween party alone.
Gloria is using her alone time with the twins as an opportunity to secretly baptize them before Haley and Dylan get home. Meanwhile, Claire is still dealing with the fallout from the smart closet fiasco, and Cam is at war with his school’s mascot who is threatening his chance at securing a new college coaching job.
Cameron and Mitchell’s friends mistakenly assume they have split up and have definitely chosen a side, and Haley attempts to cook Thanksgiving dinner as a thank you for Claire and Phil’s support with the twins. Meanwhile, Jay invites Phil and Dylan out to fly his model plane, and Phil thinks this is his chance to reclaim his dignity after their first outing 10 years ago went so wrong.
The Dunphy house is bursting at the seams when Dylan’s hippie mom moves in and Claire’s lonely stepdad, Jerry, wants to pay them a visit. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria attempt to help Manny get over his big breakup with Sherry.
Cameron is hoping to keep everyone happy for their annual Christmas dinner as he hides and prepares for his big interview for a head coaching position out-of-state. Meanwhile, Haley is excited to be finally be reunited with wine and Mitchell is suspicious of Cam’s holiday trip to visit his family in Missouri.
Alex’s new company is putting her up at a new luxury apartment with full amenities and a list of high-profile residents that the family is eager to take advantage of, without her knowing. Phil is on a mission to review the restaurant’s famous sliders for his food blog, while Mitch and Cam sneak in separately to meet its most famous resident, David Beckham. Meanwhile, Luke and Manny head straight for the gym to try and pick up on older women and end up in some hot water with a few of the residents.
Phil pays a visit to his dad to make sure he is ok after hearing some concerning news about him. Meanwhile, Jay gives Claire and Mitch a bunch of their old childhood memorabilia that triggers them to reevaluate a long-held story about their first family vacation.
Mitchell learns a valuable life lesson when Murray, a former resident of the house, shows up unexpectedly. Meanwhile, the Dunphy’s old neighbor-turned-tech-titan, Kenneth, comes to visit with a big surprise for Phil. Then, Manny’s dad, Javier, shows up with a big opportunity for his son.
In one last family trip, the Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan heads to Paris so Jay can accept a lifetime achievement award for his work in the closet industry. However, his old nemesis, Earl Chambers, finds a way to haunt him. Meanwhile, Claire has a secret rendezvous in one of the most romantic cities in the world, and Cam’s lifelong dream of performing as Fizbo on the streets of Paris is about to become a reality.
Phil and Claire take Haley and Dylan to dinner to reassure them they are not bad parents. While out to dinner, they run into Mitch and Cam who are chaperoning Lily’s first date, as well as Jay and Gloria after attending Joe’s school play.
Claire has landed an interview for her dream job and is thwarted on her way to the interview by Phil’s tricky staircase. Meanwhile, Cam and Mitch debate the pros and cons of adopting another baby after unexpectedly receiving a call from their adoption agency.
Mitchell is having a hard time letting go of his old life and Gloria steps in to help him say goodbye. Meanwhile, Haley, Luke and Alex decide to throw a party at the Dunphy house when Claire and Phil leave for a trip, and Dylan’s mom takes the twins for the night.
Mitchell and Cam settle in on their new normal, and Phil and Claire decide that one of the kids needs to move out in order to take control of the house again. Meanwhile, as Gloria becomes more successful at work, she notices Jay, Manny and Joe don’t seem to need her as much.
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